Mike's Porn Reviews

Cheating Housewives #3

Generally speaking, when Smash Pictures names a porno to suggest that it will have a theme, they follow through (unlike Anabolic, which used to be good but which now produces the exact same damned formula porn movie under dozens of different names). In "Cheating Housewives", they really do try to show us cheating housewives. Each scene starts with a housewife who meets a guy, either through happenstance or a pre-arranged tryst, and has a sexual encounter with him. The nice thing about a movie like this is that it's ostensibly about what the woman wants, so the women are treated better than they are in raincoater videos.

The first scene is simplicity itself: Lisa Ann is a luscious brunette whose husband is out of town, so she calls Ben English (yes, he has a British accent) and tells him that the coast is clear. Next thing you know, he's in her house and he's giving her a stiff one. The action is fast, energetic, and noisy, and takes place mostly on the staircase in the foyer of her house. I guess they couldn't wait long enough to get to the bedroom. No anal in this scene. The direction is quite good, with a moving camera and no long genital close-ups.

The second scene involves Donna Doll, a blonde whose husband is apparently cheating on her. Naturally, she decides to get back at him by cheating on him with her friend Sascha, right on the couch in her living room. It is not entirely obvious why shirtless Sascha hangs around her house in the first place; one gets the impression that this couple has not exactly been leading the way in fidelity from either side. In any case, it's a bit difficult to buy the premise in this one, partially because it's so perfunctory and partially because it starts with the patented "put your hand on the back of her head and choke her with your dick" maneuver. But it's still a fairly well-done scene, with good energy and noise. No anal in this scene either.

The third scene involves the always-reliable Aurora Snow, who is in her twenties now. She looks considerably better than she did when she first broke into the business, thanks to a bit of extra meat on her bones and the more womanly look of her face. I know there are guys who like the "underage jailbait" look, but I'm not one of them. Unfortunately, Aurora still sounds like jailbait; she makes the same girlish squealing sounds that she's always made, and they seem a bit out of place coming from a performer who now looks like a woman rather than a girl. In any case, this scene has the most involved setup so far, and starts in a grocery store parking lot where Jenner is a grocery bag boy and he's helping Aurora load her groceries into her car. With a little bit of flirting, Aurora soon has him in her kitchen helping her unpack, and then with a bit more flirting, she has him in her pussy helping her get off, but not until after we're forced to sit through another gagging blowjob scene. I really wish porno directors would stop telling their performers to do that. Otherwise, this scene is better-done than either of the previous two scenes, with a much better setup to go with the hot noisy action. Of course, with Aurora Snow in the scene, you know she'll be taking it up the ass, and she does. But once again, the director knows what he's doing and mercifully avoids the "proctology exam" approach used by so many unskilled porn directors during anal scenes.

After the third scene which actually made an effort at a setup, the fourth one goes back to the perfunctory "two people start the scene standing in front of a couch and speaking a couple of lines before having sex" format. This time it's Cerrie Ann and Mark Davis, and you won't see anything in this scene that you didn't see in scene #2. Having said that, it's not a bad scene; there's just nothing memorable about it. It's pretty much a carbon copy of scene #2, but with less energy.

And finally, we come to scene #5, starring tall Nicole Sheridan. This time, the setup is that she found her husband's porno magazines and she's so angry at him that she decided to go cheat on him with Voodoo (who's actually her real-life boyfriend, ironically enough). She's quite the looker and does it all with energy and noise, including anal. On paper, this should be the best scene on the disc, but it didn't do much for me. I think the problem is that she's constantly trash-talking through the whole scene. Her behaviour comes off as rather skanky, and throughout the scene I kept thinking that somebody should tell her to just shut up and go back to moaning and screaming sounds instead of dialogue.

In conclusion, this film is pretty good, but it has just enough annoyances to keep it out of four-star territory.

Rating: 3/5
Anal/DP: yes
Choking/slapping/abuse: none
Running time: 2 hours, 3 minutes
Video quality: good
Studio: Smash Pictures
Producer: Dan Quinn
Director: Mike Metropolis

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