Mike's Porn Reviews

Get Luckier

Get Luckier is one of those rare plot-based pornos, in this case a parody of the TV classic "Get Smart", that actually works, albeit not without flaws. It works primarily because it never takes itself too seriously. On the contrary, its biggest weakness is that it tries too hard to be funny at times and a lot of the jokes fall flat. But let's be honest here: if you recall the original "Get Smart", a lot of its jokes were pretty lame too. If anything, this parody does a pretty good job of copying the original show's corny and bewilderingly self-conscious jokes.

Dick Smothers Jr plays the title role of Maxwell Sharp, aka Agent 86½ of the secret spy agency called COMMAND, and Shy Love plays Agent 69: his love interest. Lee Stone plays Tiny: COMMAND's super-strong android agent, Katie Morgan plays Agent 36-26-36, and Tony Tedeschi plays the villain, Wolfgang Heinzkirk. We open the movie by meeting most of the main characters, and discovering two things. First, we discover that the evil group SCUM has developed a weapon that scrambles peoples' brains and turns them into gibbering idiots (ie- they act like the sort of person who was immensely popular in high school and then spends the rest of his or her life reminiscing about those glory days). We also learn that Agent 36-26-36 is a new agent who Maxwell has been assigned to train.

Of course, Agent 69 is not at all pleased about her boyfriend being assigned to train the hot new blonde agent, so she confronts Maxwell and demands that he demonstrate his feelings for her. This he does, although the feeling he demonstrates seems to look more like lust than love. But hey, this is Shy Love we're talking about: she's built from head to toe for sordid encounters, not love. After the obligatory foreplay, they go through a few vaginal sex positions before he pulls out and spooges on her ass. I must admit to being disappointed at the lack of anal, because Shy Love is anything but shy about taking it up the ass. But it's a good scene nevertheless.

From here we head to the training room, where Tiny and Agent 36-26-36 are learning some of the basics of how to be a COMMAND agent. Maxwell decides to show them a video demonstrating how to seduce an enemy agent, which leads us to a sex scene with Cindy Crawford and Tommy Gunn. It's a fairly clever way to slip in a completely unrelated sex scene, of the sort that would normally be found as a "Bonus Scene" in the disc's Special Features area. It's generic but enthusiastic, and Cindy takes it up the ass like a good girl.

At this point we run into a couple of short non-sex scenes, starting with a demonstration of hand to hand combat skills. It's about as funny as a typical SNL sketch, or as funny as the same sort of scene might have been in the original show. From here we go to HQ, where we learn the location of COMMAND's secret codes, via more formulaic humour. Honestly, you can just skip over both of these scenes. Not only are they devoid of any fucking, but they're totally unnecessary to the movie's flimsy plot!

At this point we go to the headquarters of SCUM, home of the evil Wolfgang Heinzkirk. And who do we see with him? Why, none other than Agent 36-26-36, the hot new blonde agent at COMMAND! You see, she has actually been working with Heinzkirk this whole time. Naturally, while cackling over their successful deception of COMMAND, they decide to have sex. Once again, the sex is fairly hot, but it's also pretty conventional: standard-issue foreplay, followed by several vaginal sex positions. At the end of the scene, he gives her a gift: the stupefying brain-scrambling raygun, called a "Sonic Brain Eliminator".

In our next scene, we head to the COMMAND research labs, where we have to tolerate some more weak situational gags that they milk for just a bit too long, and we also meet Charlie Watkins, the head scientist of COMMAND who also happens to be a smoking-hot blonde, played by Bree. After some more weakly amusing dialogue, Agent 69 shows up, still clearly irritated that Maxwell is spending so much time with Agent 36-26-36. Agent 69 and Charlie Watkins get to talking, and of course, a lesbian scene follows. It's about as satisfying as most lesbian scenes are, which is to say that the girls are hot, and dildo play is fun to watch, but somehow it seems like it's all just foreplay.

At this point the plot kicks into high gear. Agent 36-26-36 has quietly blasted almost the entire staff of COMMAND with her Sonic Brain Eliminator, turning them all into mindless buffoons. Pretty soon the only three unaffected members are Maxwell, Agent 69, and Agent 36-26-36. Of course, Maxwell is too dense to realize that the new Agent 36-26-36 is probably the mole, and she gets away. Maxwell takes Tiny and pursues her to SCUM headquarters, where they discover Heinzkirk's evil plan: he intends to make porn movies which are so offensive that they cause right-wing governments to crack down on the porn industry. Crack down on porn, and you crack down on freedom of expression, thus turning the country into a totalitarian state which would be ripe for takeover by his neo-Nazi group. Yeah, I know, it doesn't make much sense. This is a porno, remember?

Anyway, they decide that they're going to execute both Maxwell and Tiny. But Agent 36-26-36 has never been fucked by a robot before, and she wants to find out what it's like. So she takes Tiny outside for a little bit of fun. The resulting sex scene is not too original, but it's fairly well done regardless.

When they get back inside, Agent 36-26-36 and Heinzkirk decide to eliminate the interlopers, but there's a quick fight and the good guys win. A few more cheap gags later, and the credits roll.

In conclusion, this is a fun little porno. It's about as good as a plot-heavy porn is going to get in my opinion, although there are some non-sex comedy scenes that are best skipped, and a lesbian scene which I'm not a big fan of. Four stars for this one; it's one you want to watch for fun with your girlfriend rather than using it as background for masturbation or even sex, but it's very good for that purpose. I may not be a huge fan of the "plot-based couples porn" genre with its almost unbreakable formulas, but this is one of the best examples of it.

Rating: 4/5
Anal/DP: yes (but only once)
Choking/slapping/abuse: none
Running time: 1 hour, 42 minutes
Video quality: excellent
Studio: Hustler Video
Producer: Marc the Saint
Director: Cash Markman

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