Mike's Porn Reviews

Otto and Audrey Destroy the World

From the title, you'd guess this film has something to do with a supervillain, perhaps in a superhero or superspy movie, right? Nope. This movie has nothing to do with 007, Agent Phelps, or anyone else with a gun. "Otto" is Otto Bauer, a male porn star/director, and "Audrey" is Audrey Hollander, a red-headed female pornstar who principal claim to fame is her willingness to take enormous objects up her ass while dishing out the same to any female co-stars who find themselves in one of her movies. This movie is a pure raincoat gonzo film, with no pretense of a story of any kind, and it's more freak show than sex show. In this film, womens' asses stretch to accommodate invasive acts that I would not have thought possible before I saw this movie.

Was it exciting? I honestly don't know if I can answer that. There were parts of it that were exciting, but they were generally surrounded with disturbing or disgusting material. I was not familiar with Otto Bauer's work before seeing this, but I should have known what to expect when I saw him standing around chatting with Skeeter Kerkove at the beginning of the movie. I've learned enough about Skeeter Kerkove to know that you basically don't want to watch one of his videos if you want to see sex as a sensual act rather than an exhausting, abusive, and disgusting one, and it appears that Otto has been learning from his shithead example. Indeed, as Yoda says, always two there are: a master, and an apprentice.

The first scene stars Selena Silver, an attractive albeit very slightly chunky blonde. The scene wastes no time getting down to business, as Selena gets a dildo rammed up her ass almost immediately. Otto gets into the act and various combinations of fairly predictable (albeit very hardcore) ass-fucking, dildo ass-fucking, and deep-throating follow, until Audrey and Selena start taking turns spreading their ass-cheeks to accept an absolutely enormous dildo (I believe it's actually the "John Holmes" dildo, which is reviewed on the Sex Toy page). I honestly didn't think objects that big could fit up a girl's ass, but I guess I was wrong.

But the real shocker comes around 27 minutes into the movie, when Audrey brings out a baseball bat (yes, a full-sized baseball bat) and shoves it right up poor Selena's ass. After this shocking development, Audrey and Selena actually start taking turns getting reamed by the baseball bat! Is this erotic? To be honest, no. It's more like staring at a car wreck or a freak show. But you won't forget it, that's for sure.

The second scene stars Renee Pornero, a straight-haired brunette who looks too classy to be in this incredibly filthy movie. Nevertheless she's definitely here, and after some perfunctory foreplay Audrey straps on a (normal-sized) dildo and the action begins.

This scene is considerably less brutal than the first one, and does not involve any giant-sized dildoes or baseball bats. It's mostly Audrey and Renee taking turns getting cornholed by either Otto or the strap-on, with some hygienically questionable activities and anal beads thrown in for good measure. It's much less like a freak show than the first scene, although it still looks more exhausting than pleasurable.

The third scene stars Julie Knight. Julie Knight is a special case; I've seen her in interviews before, and if she is to be even partially believed, she honestly enjoys the sort of things that Audrey and Otto intend to do to her. Is she just saying that to win fans? Perhaps, but if so, she's quite a good actress because she does a really good job of making it appear as if she genuinely enjoys activities that would send most girls running for the hills. She may not have the looks of a model, but she makes up for it with sheer enthusiasm.

With the above in mind, it should not come as a surprise that the monster dildo from scene #1 is back, and that Julie eagerly spreads her ass-cheeks to receive it. Vigorously. She even does a DP later with Otto and the monster dildo, and then Audrey, in an attempt to outdo her, does a DAP! But even this is not enough for this grueling scene, in which Julie gets the last word in by taking a huge metal dildo up her ass: something that even Audrey doesn't try. Once again, this scene is much more like a freak show than a sex show, and at times one gets the impression that they're trying to set some sort of record for the amount of abuse that a woman's ass can take. I like Julie Knight's enthusiasm, but I'd really like to see her performing in different kinds of movies.

The fourth scene features Audrey by herself. Supposedly the plan is to end the film on a solo masturbation scene, but then Otto surprises her with two of his friends, at which point she beams at him and says "You're the best!!" Ah, if only real-life could be like porn.

As one might expect from the tone of this movie, this scene is still more exhausting than exciting, but at least there are no ridiculously oversized dildoes, baseball bats, or other bizarre penetrators. You can't help but watch that sort of thing once, if only for the freak show factor, but it gets tiresome after a while and you'd like to see a normal sex scene instead of Audrey basically saying "look at what I can do!"

And now we come to the finale: even though the last scene was supposed to be the end of the movie, we find Hillary Scott making an appearance. Hillary Scott is a waifish blonde whose name seems to be popping up all over the place as a hot new star who's eager and willing to do nasty things. She certainly lives up to her reputation in this one, working hard to keep pace with Audrey in the "I can withstand more abuse than you" competition. She actually takes a granite dildo up her ass at one point.

After all is said and done, I don't know how to rate this movie. The performers are trying really hard to entertain you, and you have to give them at least one bonus point for that. But it's pretty hard to get sexually excited over a movie like this. Every time you started getting into it, something gross would happen and take you right out of the rhythm again. There's only so many times you can see the repulsive sight of girls licking something that's recently been in someone's ass before you just get fed up and go looking for something else to watch. It reminds me of those "extreme sports" idiots from the movie "Harold and Kumar go to White Castle" who kept shouting "EXTREEEEME!" at each other as if making something more extreme should always make it better.

Rating: 1/5
Anal/DP: yes
Choking/slapping/abuse: yes
Running time: 3 hours, 2 minutes
Video quality: good
Studio: Power House
Producer: Bobby Rinaldi
Director: Otto Bauer

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